can't seem to find a damn thing wrong with ya...

Tomorrow is of my favorite people's birthday!!!

I met Veronica because of my beloved coffee shop (I thought she looked just like Velma from Scooby Doo and sounded like she grew up in Brooklyn), and we became fast friends. She's quite the accomplice when looking for trouble...I mean fun. She shares her crazy stories and allows me a vicarious single, child-free daydream. In the toughest of times, she was supportive and encouraging and lightened my heavy heart. And over the years, oh the adventures we have had!

• Picture it: we're at the bar, circa 2005. A little tipsy. I go to the DJ to request a song...and draw a blank. "Uh...do you have any LFO?" WHAT? *sigh*"LFO." NO. "Fine, whatever." Who doesn't have LFO in their musical library?

• She refers to me as Melba and people think it's my name. "Oooh, that's unfortunate."
• Once we tricked our friend into thinking we were going on a great adventure just so she'd keep us company in the McDonald's drive-thru. "I met this guy. He's from Michigan. Wanna go meet him? How long does it take to get a gd fruit and yogurt parfait?!!"
• She takes pictures of me at my ugliest and tags me on facebook. Bitch.
  
• We routinely did the typical "drive-by" with our hoods up. Once we were spotted. "Do you think he saw me?" Yes. He did. Sorry 'bout your bad luck.
  
• When she was seeing a guy who happened to have a girlfriend, the girlfriend was misinformed...and wanted ME dead. It wasn't me, I swear!
• We touched the hottest bodies of our lives simultaneously. Both were hilarious fails, but those stories are more suited for her blog than mine.
• Her pants are always about ten inches too long. Where are her feet? I'm sure I don't know.
• Her favorite restaurant is Pizza Hut. Seriously.
• Her best stories begin, "Lookit-lookit-lookit-lookit-lookit..." Haha.
  
• Like me, she stands behind the statement, "I'm not an athlete."
• For her 21st bday, we stayed downtown and I may have lost her car keys. We may have cried.
• She knows the lyrics to every song she's ever heard and has memorized all the commercials I've never seen. She's also obsessed with movies aimed at pre-teen girls, particularly any featuring the Olsen Twins.
  
• "Do you know where the Van Drunens live? I can't get any service on my cell."
• I panicked a couple times when I woke up and she was gone. "WHERE IS VERONICA????" Who's Veronica? Oh yeah...on the couch. Phew!
• She and her various boyfriends have helped me multiple times when I've had car trouble, whether I accidentally ran out of gas or got stuck on the ice in an alley or my battery died in the ghetto. She saves me.
• She makes t-shirts for special events, like Cubs/Sox games and the ex's going away party and last minute dirty Halloween costumes ("Uh...I just found a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs in your trunk..." Yeah, I'm gonna need those back.) And she refrains from using her glitter because I hate it so.
  
• She's convinced that my kids (who she affectionately refers to as "the boy" and "the girl") will one day be hers in a scene straight out of Beaches.
• "The rest of the world has siblings. Single children have to stick together." Amen, V. And give me some damn alone time!
• She's listened to me as I freaked out probably thousands of times in the course of our friendship. Sometimes she laughs at me. Sometimes she has wisdom or encouragement to offer. Sometimes she simply says, "Stop freaking out." Sometimes she suggests that if I were a pothead, I'd be a lot calmer. All are appreciated. Well, except that last one.

She's a great friend and so much fun, and if you're not reading her blog, you're crazy! Happy birthday, woman! Let the quarter-life crisis begin...but first let's get a drink. Just one, I swear!

And now a word from Rex and Gen:

the first snow

My first thought when I woke up this morning? Snow?! I effing hate snow! Second thought? The kids are gonna be sooo excited when they wake up...and since they're at their dad's, I'm going to miss it.

Remember the feeling you got from the first snow of the year when you were little? It's the closest thing to magic I know. Everything is transformed when it's coated in snow! Watching through the window of a warm home, kids just itch to get out there in the cold. The crisp air, the untouched fluffy surfaces that make you want to leave footprints in every single spot. Staying outside until you can't feel your cheeks, teeth so cold, like little cubes of ice. And the smiles, I can only imagine!

I really wanted to share that with them, and I didn't even realize it until the moment wasn't mine.

that's what she told me

This song always makes me smile. Why? Because I'm a dummy.

When the single first came out and it was on the radio all the time, I really liked it. I sang along. "You can stand under my arm foreva, eva, eva, eva!"

Under my arm.

You know, like my arm is around you, you're under it. It made sense to me...

And then, MONTHS LATER, I saw Rhianna on Tyra, sing this very song. With different words. My brow furrowed. My face flushed. "UMBRELLA"???? All this time? UMBRELLA? How many people heard me sing it wrong and thought I was an idiot??? Why didn't they say something? Umbrella makes so much more sense! Hi, "it's raining, raining." AND it's the title of the song??? STUPID. Anyway, it still makes me laugh.

Yeah, the dumbest smart girl you know. True story.

P.S. My kids pronounce the word the same way she does, "um-buh-rella"...sometimes "um-bruh-lellah." LoL

Who are you people?

Dude. I just checked my reader stats...and I have 56 readers?! Really? Who are you people? Say hi!

Listen up, kids!

My dearest children,

One day you'll be grown. Maybe you'll be thinking about starting your own family, maybe you'll have already begun...and I will sit you down. I will be older and you'll probably think I'm smart and worth listening to. I will tell you how wonderful being a parent can be. I'll elaborate and probably shed a few happy tears, remembering much smaller versions of yourselves. And then I'll pause before telling you the REST OF THE STORY (the part people seem to leave out).

It can be so, so hard! There are days when I just want to cry, I'm so frustrated. Entire days when all you seem to do is fight with one another and cry and whine and tattle. Days when you refuse to talk to your father on the phone even though the night before, I couldn't have a 5 minute conversation because you were crying about wanting to talk to Veronica. Days when you cry hysterically because half-way through your bedtime story, you realize Spider Man isn't in it. So I put him in, but you keep crying so loud you can't even hear me do it. Days you seem to forget that you are potty trained over and over. Days when you will eat NOTHING I put in front of you. Days when we put up the Christmas tree and you break my baby ornament. Days when you shoot your sister with that stupid gun from your dad's every time I turn around even though you know you aren't supposed to shoot at people. Days when you will not stop stripping naked or dunking your tiny little fingers in your cups or stealing all the tupperware to pretend it's your drum set or spilling chocolate milk all over my desk. But I digress...

Moral of the story: two and three is tough, guys. I hope you're rich and you have nannies. Man, you're lucky I love you, or I'd have run away on days like these.

Oy vey,
Mama
P.S. "Act correct."

Flashback Friday: SERGE!!!

Heheheheee!

Remember Serge? For those not in the know, he was the bartender at our fave hangout in those barely-or-not-quite-legal days. He was the best! Such a cutie, a super nice guy, and bought us more drinks than I'd care to count. On a fun night out, he was my best friend. The next morning, I'd curse his name. When the place sold we completely lost touch. That was probably 5 years ago...

I SAW HIM LAST NIGHT! Can you believe it? I sure couldn't. V and I kept saying, "I can't believe Serge is here." Even in front of him. :) It was good to catch up. V may or may not have done a little more...but that's her story to tell (or not).

T-Gives

• Grandma Wanda, mom and I were awesome today! We had everything done a half hour before the rest of the fam arrived! I mean, I was laying on the couch pretending to watch football when people walked in. I'm just saying, we're good.
  
• I made Gram's Polish sausage and sauerkraut, and though not perfect, it was pretty damn good for my first try.
• Rex's mom bought me a delightfully hideous angel for the top of my Christmas tree, complete with tacky fiber optic feather wings. I passed it on to Grandma Wanda, who adores the ugly thing. It was sitting on top of her TV today. Not lit, of course. To conserve the batteries. I giggled.
  
• I was, you know, trying to breathe after gorging, and I told Grandma Wanda how good everything was. Her response: "I know. That's why we've always been so fat." Amen, lady. Or, as my cousin Josh kept saying, "real talk."
  
• Ryan: "I really like your grandma's stuffing. It looks like cat food, though." I nearly choked.
• Mom: "We've got another nationality I never knew about! Gypsy! Yeah, Mama just told me last night!" She seemed so excited about it, I didn't have the heart to tell her that in fact, "gypsy" is NOT a nationality. AT ALL.
• Ryan: "I finally figured out how to have my radio display the song title and artist. There's this INFO button." Me: "OMG. Are you really that dumb?" *crickets* LoL
  
• I was sooo excited to pick up the kids, who spent the day with the ex...and do you know they've been asleep the entire time since they've been home? Boo on turkey comas.
• "Family: forever, for always, and no matter what."
  

Hope you all had lovely Thanksgivings and had tons to be thankful for!

And then I nearly died.

Really.

This morning I got up at the crack of dawn, as usual, got the kids stuff packed up and headed to Grandma Wanda's. I dropped the kids off and was headed back to the expressway to go to work when I heard a thud. I thought I must have hit a bump in the road or something and my front passenger tire has a slow leak, so I pulled over right away to see if I did any damage to the tire. No, looked fine. Started driving again, and it sounded like something was dragging under the truck (You know, that truck that HATES ME?), so I pulled over and looked underneath. Yes. Something. Something big and metal, hanging there...I had no idea what it was, but I could see that the metal strap that was supposed to hold it up had broken. I thought, "Well, I'll just get to the coffee shop, and my dad can look at this after work."

As soon as I got on the expressway, I smelled gas. Looked at the gauge, and it had dropped below E. I pulled onto the shoulder immediately. IT WAS MY GAS TANK. It could have sparked and the truck exploded and I would be dead right now.

Let me just tell you, gas tanks are expensive. So are tow trucks. I'm going to be broke for the rest of my life.

BUT there were a bunch of people that helped me today. And a bunch more that would have if they could. And I'm going to try REALLY REALLY hard to focus on that.

1407 Main St.

Today I was thinking about the shop...I'll be sooo sad to see it close...all the people I've come to know there...some really great ones...some really crazy ones, too.

First all the former owners: Des and Curt, Denise, Katie and her family (who made that coffee shop feel like a family of its own). And the girls I worked with -- Sarah, Beth, Bridget, Sam, Laura, Keri, Taytum, Ashley, Sarah, Ryan, Pat, Formas, Veronica, Megan -- girls who became great (or not-so-great) friends. Think of all the shenanigans...jeez!

And the customers! My gosh, there have been so many characters!

Leslie was my all-time favorite! She was full of joy and befriended anyone to walk through our doors. She had killer blue eyes, was such a good mama, threw fantastic parties, told raunchy stories, could turn her Louisiana accent on and off like it was her job, and closet smoked with the best of us. She was wonderful! Leslie passed away in early '06 after suffering with a brain tumor. Do you know people still ask about her? I think the whole Madd Capps family misses her! Sometimes I see a big black van pull up in front and think for a second that it's her!

And all the others: Mark (who drives me crazy with his two hour ramblings, but has such a good heart); Leo/Rick (totally creepy, but loyal as heck to that place through the years); Mike and Carol; Larry; Mr. B; three very different and very sweet Renees (I think I'm gonna get the cougar's new yoga DVD. I seriously need to tone up, and why not laugh while I do it? All are welcome to join in the mocking); The Agees (remember when Eloise hated us and we were all in love with their boy RST); Tina from across the street (who is the only real live person I've ever seen rock a pair of Christian Louboutin's); the ghetto girl with the baby daddy drama; the guys from Tech 3; Nancy and her girls; Terri; my new favorite old couple, the Zimmermans; Mike and his little girl Mary, who is absolutely adorable and loooves our brownies!

And the old school crowd, who I still haven't forgotten: Jeannie (who I started going to the shop with when I was 15 on Sundays after church); the bagel people (they were this super cute old couple that always got a cinnamon raisin and a blueberry bagel and strawberry cream cheese and would share...I think they must have passed away...); the short man with the hair plugs (he's been in lately and those things finally took!); Keith (who we called "Hole in his Pants Man" for the longest time, because he was always wearing jeans with a big rip in the back...and no underpants!); Kenny and the Well Hung crew; Rick the Indian (Keri, do you still have that leather journal he made for you?); Matt and the Joshes climbing down from the shit truck, hands probably coated in poop; Richelle the ex-stripper with the crazy tattoos; the Teacher ladies on Thursdays after school; Jim and Arronda (who are no longer together, I know because I made the mistake of asking about her. He was not pleased.); Sandy and Tony; Judy and Rob and the Hot Chocolate friend and the scandal that came with those 3 (KERI, I totally forgot I ran into Rob at Walt's not too long ago. He says hi!); Grandma Rose and Angela and Mr. Wallace (who met at the shop and fell in love and hopefully live happily ever after).

It's been quite a ride, with awesome company! Come in, guys, before you can't! A little over a month left...

(Did I forget anybody good?)

yeah man, that's the good stuff

Yeah, yeah...I'm still mad about what happened the other night. BUT I'M NOT DWELLING. Instead, let's talk about what I'm thankful for (all the cool kids are doing it, and I'm such a follower):

• The kids got ample daddy time this week.
• I got a shit-ton of laundry done. AND put it all away.
  
• My tattoo is getting peal-y and I've resisted the urge to pick.
• I've kept a fish alive for 8 days and counting.
• My super supportive friends. They're just good stuff. Even the bf who I'm mad at knows that. Hence the texting.
  
• I got a really cute pair of jeans at the thrift store for three dollars...and they're long enough! And my butt, it's nice, I'm telling you.
  
• I've been wearing slippers to work for a couple weeks now, and people have finally stopped commenting.
• Other great thrift store finds: a *gasp* Spider Man puffy vest for Rex and an adorable pink polka dot cardigan for Gen. I really really heart the thrift store. (And my kids do not need anymore clothes. I have a problem.)
  
• I get to sleep in tomorrow!
• I finally tried out that Pandora. I love it. And folky chick music.
• Honey roasted peanuts and brown cola. Yes!
• Thanksgiving is sooo close! Bummer that I won't have the kids, but it's still gonna be a good day. I feel it in my bones.

And you, what are you thankful for?